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So your significant other has finally popped the question and you’ve said yes (or vice-versa) – that’s definitely cause for a celebration! After all, what better excuse could there be to throw a party than an engagement?
Engagement parties come in all shapes and sizes, but to ensure yours is that bit more memorable, you’ll want to follow a few basic rules of etiquette. That’s why we’ve put together this brief guide on how to organise an engagement party to remember.
So…
Just about anyone can host the engagement party. Tradition dictates that the bride’s parents assume the role, but nowadays convenience (and willingness) tends to play a bigger part in determining who’s responsible. You might elect to throw your own celebration – or, if you’re lucky, a friend might volunteer their services.
Your engagement party guest list will provide the inspiration for your wedding’s guest list. Begin with those that you just couldn’t imagine not inviting to the ceremony and go from there. Don’t invite anyone who you don’t plan on also inviting to the wedding; that’s hurtful and frankly, pretty rude!
As a general rule, you’ll be best off throwing quite an intimate gathering, with fewer guests than you expect to turn up to the big day. If you’re hosting it at someone’s house (a common choice of venue), then keeping your guest list to a minimum is understandably a practical decision, too.
If you have a group of friends or co-workers who’d like to put together something spontaneous and informal, like an impromptu pub crawl, then you needn’t feel guilty about excluding other friends (or even your other half) and enjoying multiple celebrations. In theory, you can have as many engagement parties as you want to!
If you have multiple parties cluttering up your social calendar, then it might make sense to combine your engagement party with another celebration.
For example, if your birthday is two weeks after the day of your engagement, it may be more practical to throw one big party rather than two smaller ones. Make it clear to your guests that you’re celebrating two things, and you’ll be able to kill two birds with one stone.
While you might be tempted to combine your engagement party with Halloween, Christmas or New Year’s Eve, you’ll be much more likely to run into conflicts of schedule. In order to give your guests the best chance of being able to attend, pick a date when they’re unlikely to have outside commitments.
The length of your guestlist will influence your choice of venue, as will the level of formality you’re aiming for. It’s perfectly okay to have your engagement party at home – it’ll keep things casual and affordable - but since this is an extra-special party, you might decide to push the boat out a little.
Booking a large table at a favourite restaurant might work – but the seating arrangements at an engagement dinner party might prevent you from interacting with all your guests, and so this works best with smaller groups. Another option is to hire out a local clubhouse or country club – this suits more formal gatherings, but it won’t be cheap.
Your choice of venue will determine the food you’re serving. The more formal the party, the fancier the snacks will need to be. You’ll need to cater to everyone’s dietary requirements. If you’re going for a sit-down meal, then vegetarians and vegans should already be catered for; if you’re hosting the party yourself, then you’ll need to provide meat-free options (and probably dairy-free ones, too).
If you’d prefer to avoid food altogether, then throw the party later in the evening and make it clear on the invitations that food won’t be served. A buffet-style spread of lighter bites will allow guests to line their stomachs without filling up.
Though it isn’t mandatory, this is the sort of party where you’ll want to make a short toast to thank everyone for attending, including whoever’s hosting. Outside of that, you can keep it simple. Book a band or a DJ if you need to entertain a larger group – but for smaller parties, the pleasure of your company should be all that’s required.
When booking a venue and sending out invites, you’ll need to strike a balance. You’ll want to provide your guests with enough notice to clear their diaries, but you’ll also want to get things moving quickly enough that people are still excited about the engagement. Around a month is probably about right.
Though gifts at an engagement party aren’t to be expected, you may find that a few of your guests will bring along an item or two (or even cards with a cash gift). If you’d rather not receive these, then leave a note in the invitation saying so. After all, you’re going to be receiving gifts when you actually get married; it really isn’t fair to expect them at your engagement party, too.
Of course, even when you explicitly say “no gifts please”, some guests will insist on bringing something. Ensure you have somewhere out-of-the-way to store them, so that your other guests don’t feel uncomfortable. Naturally, you’ll need to pen a thank-you note for each gift you receive.
If you haven’t hosted the party yourself, then you might want to get the host a gift to show your gratitude. If you don’t think you can afford anything substantial, even a thank you card can go a long way. By the same token, why not provide your guests with small favours? They’re sure to appreciate the gesture.
Planning a winning engagement party needn’t be stressful – particularly compared with the complexities of the big day itself. If you’ve enlisted the aid of a professional wedding planner, it’s worth asking for their opinion. They might be willing to help you take your party to the next level!
Been invited to an engagement party? View custom engagement gifts, our engagement bottle bags, or our personalised engagement greetings cards.