0
A wedding might be principally about the bride and groom, but weddings are also populated by an assortment of characters with valuable roles to play if the big day is to go to plan. Generally, it’s up to the wedding planner to coordinate the chaos, but even with their expert help, the wedding party can be surprisingly complicated if everyone is not 100% sure of what is expected of them. That’s why we’ve put together this handy guide detailing the traditional roles each member of the party has to play.
The Bride and Groom - The stars of the show. The prime duty of the happy couple is, of course, to make sure they get to where they need to be on time, but anyone who has ever been married will tell you there is so much more to it than that. As it’s their day, they will be in charge of setting the budget, choosing the venue, deciding on a ‘theme’ or design, writing vows and speeches (if desired) and sending thank-you notes and gifts after the whole shebang is over. They must also, of course, decide on the guest-list (as well as selecting their wedding party). Ultimately, the bride and groom can be as involved as they want to be. If they prefer, they can hire a wedding planner to take care of many of the more taxing jobs. It will ultimately come down to two things - their budget and availability. Because planning a wedding can be expensive and time-consuming work!
The Best Man - The role of the best man is, in essence, little more than turning up to suit fittings, making sure the groom has a memorable stag party, that he gets where he’s supposed to be on time and that he keeps the groomsmen in check. There is of course the additional extra that is the dreaded speech. For time immemorial the best man’s speech has been the bane of mothers across the globe, but as long as they don’t go too blue (there will probably be children present, after all) then nobody should end up in tears. Unless the laughs really land!
Groomsmen - A group of close friends and family members whose chief duty it is to assist the groom and his best man in the planning of the stag, and the execution of the day itself; your groomsmen will chiefly be seen as the ushers helping people find their seats before the service and directing them throughout the day. It’s customary for the groom to give a small token of his appreciation to both the groomsmen and the best man - a ‘wedding favour’ that often takes the form of an engraved keepsake or a pair of bespoke cufflinks. A groom can technically have as many groomsmen as he wishes, but we’d recommend sticking to 3 or 4 if possible. Known as the “Hattabin” during Muslim weddings.
Maid of Honour - The maid of honour is the bride’s right-hand woman. There to offer not only a second pair of eyes but emotional support to the bride-to-be. It is the maid of honour’s duty to lead the bridal shower, toast the couple at the wedding breakfast and make sure the bridesmaids are kept in line. She will also be in charge of the bride’s pre-wedding makeover and will help the bride to get into her wedding dress comfortably and without incident. It might also be up to the maid of honour to shower the happy couple with confetti as they leave the ceremony.
Bridesmaids - As the name suggests, the bridesmaids are to the bride what the groomsmen are to the groom - a support network of colour-coded friends and family members. They will assist with planning the hen party, undertaking more menial pre-wedding tasks (such as sending out invites) and keep the dance-floor full at the reception. As with the groomsmen, a bride can technically have as many bridesmaids as she wishes, but we’d recommend sticking to 3 or 4 if possible.
Flower Child and Ring Bearer – The ring bearer is typically aged between 2 and 10 and will be the first one down the aisle, carrying the wedding bands to the front of the altar (note that you can always use fake rings if you’re worried about inflicting such a responsibility on someone so young). The flower boy or girl, meanwhile, follows close behind, scattering petals for the bride and her father to walk over. In some weddings, there might also be page boys or girls that carry the wedding gown train behind the bride. This is particularly common if the train is long enough that someone could trip over it! Flower children, pages and ring bearers tend to be child relatives of the couple or their closest friends.
Fathers of the Bride and Groom - It’s traditional for the bride’s parents to fit the bill for the wedding, but that’s a tradition that might appear a little antiquated by today’s standards. Still, if we’re looking at traditional roles here, it’s generally the role of the father of the bride to help out with the budget, ferry family members to and from the venue and offer a toast (and maybe even a speech) during the wedding breakfast. The father of the groom, meanwhile, is generally expected to also help out with the budget and will be tasked with helping the father of the bride with his duties as an elder statesman.
Mothers of the Bride and Groom - The bride’s mother can be as involved as she desires and could serve as a backup wedding planner if you’re trying to keep the budget low. Generally, however, there is very little expected of her other than to be a friendly and approachable presence and to greet guests at both the ceremony and the reception with a smile. The bride will also undoubtedly require a fair amount of motherly support in the lead-up to the wedding itself, so that’s certainly something to take into account. The groom’s mother, on the other hand, is often the pillar of diplomacy - preventing conflict and keeping family members and friends alike happy.
Readers - it has long been a tradition for couples to have loved ones recite meaningful passages during the ceremony itself. This can either be verses from religious tomes, poetry, or even messages of warmth and love they have composed themselves.
The Officiator/Officiant - Finally, without an officiator, a wedding simply wouldn’t be legally binding. Taking the form of either a religious cleric (a priest or a rabbi, for example) or a registrar. In the US, people can be ordained online free of charge (singer Adele recently officiated the ceremony for her friend Alan Carr’s wedding, for example), but in the UK, there are only certain registered individuals who are given licences to perform a marriage - either someone who is part of the Church and has a licence to do so or a registrar whose job it is to conduct marriages.
Remember, any successful wedding will always be a team effort. It takes a village to raise a child and it takes a party to stage a wedding. Your wedding party tends to consist of your closest family members and friends. Traditionally the roles above are key to a wedding party but each wedding is unique and modern weddings adapt these roles to reflect what the couple wants. Your wedding party however should feature the closest people to you in some form or another. Your guests are still people you love and think fondly of, but the wedding party tends to be the key figures you are in regular contact with and who knows the couple inside out.
