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So, your loved one’s have just announced their engagement and a party to celebrate is on the horizon.
If you’re planning to attend the engagement party but you’ve never been to one before, it might be that you’re not exactly sure what the etiquette might be for such events. There may even be a few rules that you might need to set yourself when it comes to what you need to do or how you should behave.
If you’re not sure about what these “rules” might be, we’ve created this handy guide to help you be the top-notch engagement party guest you know that you are!
Responding to Engagement Party Invites
If you’ve received a formal invite to an engagement party, the polite thing to do under this circumstance would be to send an RSVP letting the happy couple know whether you’re able to attend. Usually, an engagement party will take place within a few weeks of the engagement, due to this, the time frame to respond is significantly smaller compared to receiving a wedding invite for example.
Because the window of opportunity to respond in a timely fashion is often small, the best thing to do is to forward your response as soon as possible. Leaving it too late could mean that causes undue stress for the newly engaged couple as they may need to amend any plans already made.
If you’re unsure if you’re able to attend, letting your loved ones know as soon as possible that you may or may not be able to make it, will mean they’re able to make any necessary provisions. They’re bound to really appreciate the heads up too!
What to do if you can’t make an engagement party?
If you know for sure that you’re not able to attend an engagement party, let the couple know that you can’t make it in the same way you would if you can. In doing so, they can keep a close eye on exact numbers and it will mean they don’t have to overspend on food.
If you’re worried that your absence might affect their decision to invite you to the wedding, speak with them directly and explain why you’re unable to attend, they’ll appreciate the time you’ve taken to keep them informed.
If you’d still like to make a gesture to let the happy couple know that they mean a lot to you even in your absence, sending an engagement gift or card is likely to be gratefully received.
What Should You Wear to an Engagement Party?
Knowing what to wear to an engagement party can be a tricky one. If you know what the plans are for the party, it can determine just how formal you go. If the plan is to have a rave in the middle of a field, it’s unlikely you’re going to choose a ball gown or show up all suited and booted. Likewise, if it’s a formal occasion in a fancy restaurant, choosing to show up in jeans and a t-shirt is probably not the best idea.
There is one hard and fast rule though… NEVER upstage the bride-to-be. It’s their day and the spotlight should always be on them.
Engagement Party Gift Giving
Another unwritten rule is that it’s polite to acknowledge and show appreciation for the invite to the party by giving the newly engaged couple a gift. But knowing what gift to buy or how much to spend can be a minefield.
If you’re quite close to the couple getting engaged, either by relation or close friends, it’s likely you’ll want to give them a gift that’s a little more special than your average. How much you spend however, really does come down to budget. Realistically, a budget of £20 to £40 should be more than enough to spend on an engagement present.
If you’re really at a loss as to the sort of gifts to buy, then we’ve put together this short list to give you some inspiration:
How Long Should You Stay at an Engagement Party?
Ideally, you don’t want to be showing up at an engagement party, eating the food and then leaving. Doing this will probably not go down very well with the hosts. If you’re not too keen on sticking around for hours, arriving later is probably a better option than leaving early as far as saving face goes.
Usually, a party will have a start and finish time, but that doesn’t mean you’re obligated to be there for the whole time. The same way that you’re not obligated to participate in any activities that might be planned for the party… it is polite however to be present for the main events and to be a good sport with activities.
Engagement Party Speeches & Toasts
Not all engagement parties include speeches and toasts, but if they do, they’re usually done by certain people. Often the people enlisted to give speeches will be the people that are going to be involved in the wedding in some way. So this would either be the groom, the father of the bride (who traditionally would be the one to host the engagement party) or one of the groomsmen.
If you’re one of the people that’s been asked to give a speech, you might want to consider what to do and what not to do. Below are a list of pointers to consider:
Usually a speech will be given just prior to any celebration cake cutting as it’s the perfect point in the party to announce the moment.
Attending an engagement party should be joyous, fun and full of good times. If you’re not really sure what you can and can’t get away with, we hope our list of engagement party do’s and don’ts has given you all you need to be a model party guest!
