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China is one of the oldest nations in the world. It is said that they have 5,000 years of history and have been a huge cultural and intellectual force in the Far East. In this article, we are going to look at Chinese wedding traditions.
As Christianity has never been a major religion in China, traditional Chinese weddings follow a very different format to what we’re accustomed to in Britain. Although Chinese weddings have gradually begun to assimilate with Western weddings, there are still some key cultural differences and traditions that stand. The ceremony is normally a quiet, intimate affair, but the reception is a vibrant, joyous occasion.
Before we get into the ceremony, there are a few Chinese traditions and customs we’d like to look at.
First is the colour red.
Red is a significant colour for the Chinese. You’ll see it at every Chinese New Year and it also features heavily on all holidays and family gatherings. Red symbolises many things including good luck, joy, fertility, love and boldness.
A traditional Chinese wedding dress will also be red. While Western brides wear white, in China it’s associated with funerals (though this is changing and today many Chinese brides will wear white).
In addition to a red dress, a traditional Chinese bride will wear a red face veil, travel in a red vehicle, and their mother will hold a red umbrella above them on the way to the ceremony.
Before the wedding, you will have to recruit the help of a mage, fortune teller, or astrological calendar, to set some auspicious dates for the wedding. There are certain things that take place before a wedding and they all need to happen on an auspicious date. A mage will help select the date based on your birth details.
Even numbered dates and months are preferential, and the Chinese Ghost Month is avoided, which normally starts in August and ends in September. After these dates have been set, the other details of the wedding are ironed out. Traditionally, this would include:
Bride prices are still a thing in China and some grooms will have to pay upwards of £20,000 to marry their bride.
A few months before the wedding day, the groom will give the bride’s family some betrothal gifts. These gifts normally consist of food and jewellery.
Interestingly, the Chinese word for ‘date’, as in the food, sounds exactly the same as the word for ‘early’, and the word for ‘peanut’ sounds nearly identical to ‘birth’. For those reasons, these foods often feature at this gift-giving ceremony, to wish the couple an early birth in their marriage.
Another pre-wedding tradition is crying. The bride will cry for an hour every day for a month before the wedding. After a week, their mother will join them, followed by their grandmother a week later, and finally any sisters a week after that.
These are supposed to be tears of joy, just to clarify.
Now all the pre-wedding traditions have been observed, auspicious dates have been set, and the colour red has been adorned everywhere for the big day, it’s time for the ceremony. Traditional Chinese wedding celebrations can span several days.
To begin, the groom will lead a procession of people to the bride’s home. This procession will usually involve fireworks, gongs, drums, music, banners and lanterns - and of course, a dancing lion follows behind the procession. A child will walk with the groom at the front of the procession to symbolise the intention to have children together.
One of the more peculiar Chinese wedding traditions are door games. When the groom arrives at the bride’s house, he must win his way to the bride to collect her. Traditionally, this would occur if the bride’s family did not approve of the marriage. They would test the groom to ensure they were worthy. It’s also to demonstrate how much they value the bride; that they wouldn’t just let anyone walk up to the door and take her away.
Today, the games are much more light-hearted. They might include eating something spicy or handing packets of money to the bridesmaids in red envelopes. Once the groom has won, they will bow to the bride’s parents and return to their home with their bride.
The couple arrive at their new home to a fanfare of fireworks and a red mat is put on the floor, so the bride’s feet don’t touch the ground. The couple will traditionally step over a saddle or a lit stove to get in to their new home.
The ceremony is a very low-key affair. Wedding vows are read in a local government office and all the necessary documentation is signed. The actual ceremony will take place by the family altar where they pay their respects to their own and each other’s families, to nature, and to deities. The couple bow to each other and the ceremony is complete.
After this comes the Chinese wedding tea ceremony.
This may be held after the ceremony, or the next day. The couple will make tea for the groom’s family, which is served in a specific order. Respect for elders is deeply ingrained in Chinese society, so after the groom’s parents have been served tea, it is then served to the oldest member of the family and goes on to the youngest.
When the groom’s family have taken a sip from their tea, they will give the couple a red envelope with a gift enclosed.
Finally, the reception takes place.
A Chinese wedding reception is referred to as a banquet, and it is not uncommon for there to be multiple feasts throughout the celebrations. Recently, families tend to host the banquet as a joint affair. These banquets will have multiple courses and tend to be very colourful, raucous affairs. The bride will often change outfit multiple times over the course of the evening.
And there you have it, a traditional Chinese wedding. There are many things to be inspired in a Chinese wedding and we could definitely get on board with having multiple wedding receptions, banquets and feasts. Would you consider incorporating a slice of China into your wedding celebrations?
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